The Inner/Outer Beauty Connection: Enhancing with Character and Confidence

Brook Flagg

by Brook Flagg | August 18, 2011 @ 10:00AM

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Sophia LorenSex appeal is fifty percent what you've got and fifty percent what people think you've got.  ~Sophia Loren

You’ve heard the sayings: “Beauty is only skin deep…” “True beauty comes from within…” and of course, the timeless mantra of “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” We may quote them from time to time, but many of us never stop to think about what those expressions really mean: the undeniable truth that beauty is strongly tied to one’s character and confidence.

In an article on The Daily Love blog, writer Alexis Wolfer backed up this assertion with a little old-fashioned polling. When researching a project on beauty, she asked celebrities and ordinary individuals alike the question, “What do you think makes someone beautiful?” Her findings:

“Never – not once – has anyone answered this question by referring to physical characteristics. It’s never been about almond-shaped eyes, straight noses, slender physiques or full lips. It’s never been about height, weight or clothing size. It’s never been about non-existent pores, wrinkle-free faces or long, blonde hair.

Rather, when I have asked anyone ‘what makes someone beautiful?’ the answer is always about character, confidence, intellect, passion, kindness, personality, poise and soul. It’s always a reflection of inner beauty. It’s never about six-pack abs, lifted butts or BMIs. It’s about someone who is happy, confident and loving of themselves and others.”

With that in mind, should women throw away their cosmetic products, allow themselves to gain large amounts of weight and let their skin care routines slide for weeks at a time? Of course not! After all, these things contribute to your health and well-being, not to mention increase your confidence.

Conversely, a healthy inner beauty guideline to follow may look more like this: On those days that lead you to feel less than your best, try focusing on what you have that really defines your personal sense of beauty. Perhaps it’s your kindness toward friends, or your compassion for those less fortunate. Maybe it’s your shrewd professional acumen; or, your devotion as a mother, wife, or romantic partner.

In any case, these things are manifestations of character that can’t be accented by salon-grade hair products. They weren’t formed as the result of a trendy surgical procedure. And when you forget to exercise these beautiful, confidence-boosting traits, the mistakes that result – hurt feelings, broken relationships, and help withheld from those who need it – can’t be covered up by dabs of concealer. 

When we think of it that way, it’s easy to see how the wise women of the ages were able to draw conclusions like those sayings listed above. So, go ahead: Accent and enhance, primp and preen. But don’t forget to focus on inner beauty as well – every single day. Confidence and character are built over a lifetime, so managing them daily is just as important as any routine you perform in the mirror.

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